“I could use a wiener and a beer.”

“Here’s what I think I thought was gonna happen…”

“The worst is you’d lose an arm, but that’s totally worth it.”

“I’m smarter than you phone!”

” I SWEAR TO GOD, there will be no exercising this weekend!”

“I just hacked up a hard chunk of something that resembled an irregular shaped kernel of corn. When I smashed it between my fingers it smelled like death.”